Like this guy...
THE GUILTY: Sexulchoclate
THE OFFENSE:
Before i post the e-mail that was sent to me by Mr Sexulchoclate i would like to just say something real quick. Take a look at his screen name....you would THINK that this person would be black and referring to himself as some lameo pickup line...well, a line with BAD GRAMMAR.
but...here's the message I got:
"You do porn?? Thats amazing WHITE POWER!"
MY RESPONSE:......
ummmmmm...let me look at this douchebag's picture...OH MY GOD!!!
There is no way in hell that this guy is for real. That is probably the scariest thing i have seen since I accidently walked in on my parents having sex.
I must look at his page...
Well, he's from Jersey. That explains everythig right there.
OH, and he's a "Goatherder"...well, Jersey is known for their influx of goats...
About Me:
"My Ex went out for, " Girls Night", so I did the same with the Fellas..My crew and I went to a club in the heart of an Urban area..I will never forget, the song or what I saw next..The song, Hansons MMm Bop, the sight, my Ex sandwiched between 2 black men with erections on the dance floor...Needless to say this was the end and here I am. Bout me , Joy was brought to this world August 24th, 1978 @ 6:15 am in Queens NY, .. I Moved to Jersey in 2nd grade been here since. I am a hard working man , who lives and breathes Classic cars..I love what I do, and feel blessed to be able to do it..When Im not working which is not too often, I enjoy riding the Harley, and going on any kind of road trip in a classic ride..I enjoy going to scenic places, antique shops, and like to dress in Thermal underwear and walk around Wallmart..The thermals must be skin tight! Go big or go home..I like the Zoo, I like big fluffy animals, and I still cant figure out why the hell Giraffes were put on this earth, and why we need them? I feel watching sports is a waste of time..On a Sunday instead of getting drunk and yelling at the TV in a bar, at a bunch of overpaid atheletes who cant even hear me, Id rather hop on the hog, and drive through the mountains..The thing that bugs me about sports is People dont like the away teams, just cause theyre not from where you grew up? So lame, ugh! Dont get me wrong Ive sat through it, and would do it for the rite person but not my thing..I like to play sports not watch them, except Boxing, and UFc, thats entertainment. Im pretty much will do anything on a dare, and am always looking to have fun, and goof around..I dont care what people think, and am very comfortable with myself and everything I do..I will sing Kareoke sober, I will do anything fun sober, People think Im drunk when Im sober..I dont need drugs or alcohloe to be fun..Its a gift my Father passed down to me, its in my Italian blood ..I would kinda like a partner in crime that I could get into trouble with..A person that we could conctantly try to out do eachother in the stupidity department..I am always the entertainer, for once I would like to be entertained too :)... Its simple if you dont care what people think, have nuts of steel, great sense of humor, you may fit the bill..If you love the 1950;s, 1980's Elvis Rock, Tattoos, Cars, motorcycles, The beach, Car shows, you will be even higher in the rankings. My Music tastes not big on Hip Hop..Beastie Boys Run DMC, pretty much closest thing to rap il go. Oldies, Metal, Doo Wop , and Rock, is where its at..Favorite bands..Motley Crue, Elvis, Billy Idol, Godsmack, Social Distotion, Van Halen, etc I know Im missing tons..Favorite Movies, The Wanderes, Better off dead, Dirty dancing, Grease, all 6 Rocky films, Rambo, anything Stallone! Eddie and the cruisers, Ghost I cry at the end :( Boondock saints..Karate kid, The Goonies, and Gigi. Well guess you get the drift, Im looking for different than the norm becasue thats what I am..Fun, Fun is the key! life is too short..Im in no rush, just looking for a good click, then see where and what kind of trouble we could raise...."
My idea of a first date: "My first date..I would take my date to The National Wholesale Liquidators..We we then purchse matching fuzzy Velor $10.99 jogging suits, my treat..We would get into our skin tight fresh gear, (which would be so tight it would leave nothing to the imagination) And head over to the most packed shopping mall, and power walk through the crowd while holding hands!..Matching Ambervision glasses, and gold chains optional.."
MY RESPONSE:
Well, at first I thought it was a guy after my own heart.
I thought that it was some guy who really didn't give a shit and was on the site just for the fun of it...and then he actually started talking about himself...and then I saw his real picture:
THIS MAN SCARES ME.
Really, I would almost prefer the guy in the g-string with the guns and the...man-fur...this guy looks like a wife beater.
I'm also a little disturbed that he mentiones "sober" three times in one train of thought...and he mentions 'i dont need drugs or alcohol to have a good time'...I may be watching too many crime shows on tv but this sounds to me like a classic recovering 12-stepper. Not that there is anything wrong with a recovering addict...but in the past it does not seems to work out well...AT ALL.
Also, what is with his obsession with 'tight' clothing that leaves 'nothing to the imagination'. I can't tell if he's joking or if he's telling the truth. I"m willing to bet this guy is COO-COO and put in some humor to make light of the fact that he is...probably a robot.
Well, and Italian robot...who likes cars...but (according to his stats) doesn't own one.
Sorry, but that's kinda lame. I mean if you are going to rattle on about how much you love something...but you dont even OWN a POS to get you from point A to B...and then you post pictures like this:
I'm going to go ahead and say that you are ALREADY MISLEADING ANY POTENTIAL FEMALES. I mean, i thought that this was a guy who collected classic cars...not some douche who goes from car yard to card yard and poses with OPP (other people's property...for those of you who were not rocking out in the 90s).
MY written RESPONSE:
... I actually didn't write anything. However, there is a part of me that REALLY REALLLLLY wants to write him just to say what he will write back....or if he will write back..
Something tells me I'm going to be doing something I will regret...very shortly...
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