agony of DA FEET!

Hello my dear readers!

Its Thursday, the weekend is quickly approaching and with it the socially awkward will be pulling out all the stops to prove to the world once and for all that 'YES, WE CAN GET LAID'.
Like zombies to a brain-the lifeless of the online dating world get quite restless and are drawn to those that appear to be 'easy'...or hell...to those who HAVE A PULSE.

Today's e-mail is a well-written message from a young attractive suitor from Long Island. I dont know if i would call him a 'guido' perse...but...I have some other names that I would like to use...

THE GUILTY: jfd2010

THE OFFENSE:
Writing and actually sending a complete stranger this email:

Subject: Hi doll

Body "u look so hott with fishnets.. got anymore foot pics?? j__ btw"

My Response:
OH sure!! J__ is it? yeah, j__, i'm just going to go into my file here labeled 'foot fetish for joe' and send you some 'more' pictures of my feet...in fishnets and heels...

**CREEPER ALERT!!**

Jesus tapdancing Christ....I had to actually go to my profile page to see what the hell kinda pictures i had on there...lo and behold...there WERE NO FOOT PICTURES!

 While i was at it (looking at profiles I mean) i took a quick gander at his...and this is what i found:
"About Me:
 luvv life, enjoy manhattan, being athletic, being healthy, enjoy reading, n sexy women......ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppplllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

 What...the fuck...is that...
I looked around his page some more and i noticed that he is also part of that ongoing trend of posting "Athletic" body type when they are actually OVERWEIGHT. You're 250lbs...thats not muscle and you're not big boned...i'm willing to bet it had something to do with those nachos belle grande you had last night at midnite...and the Big Gulp of coke you had with that...oh, and those taquitos...but you'll have your super protein shake smoothie thing for breakfast...that is what healthy badass BUFF guys do.

And you're training for the WWE

oh, and he wrote that he likes "women in bikinis and skirts"

FUnny, he didn't mention anything about FEET!

WTF...did he like..blow up my picture on photoshop and jerk off to my feet?
Maybe that's why his letter was so short...i guess its hard to type with a sticky keyboard and a shoe on your head...
But seriously guy, at least let me *think* that you are somewhat normal on your first contact. Don't just be some douche who is like 'i have a foot fetish...give me feet pictures so i can...admire them'.

OOHHHH NOOOO HONEY

Let me tell you something.
I have nothing against you jerking off to random (not my) body parts...I have nothing against a harmless fetish.

I am against YOU getting your kinky jollies from me FOR FREE.
not to mention then HAVING THE AUDACITY TO ASK FOR MORE. 

MY RESPONSE TO HIS DOUCHEBAGGERY:

That, sir, offends me...if you want porn and...feet...for free i suggest this fantastic site: Google. You can type in WHATEVER YOU WANT and something will show up...

see, I typed in "foot disease human" and I picked out this for you:

                                     (and yes, i mailed that to him as a response to his request)
Regards.