It's everywhere...its in the drug stores, in your dirty laundry, hell....it's even here IN THIS BLOG!
THE GUILTY: BeeFan005
THE OFFENSE: A seemingly innocent e-mail preceeded by a seeminly OFFENSEIVE picture.
The Subject: Hi
The Body: You look stunning.
Who is this guy?! I'm pretty sure this is the SAME guy who's picture was sent to me a few weeks ago...except that time he was wearing a g-string and was on a bet surrounded by guns.
Either way...I would like to take your attention away from his Cro Magnon sloping brow and look at his topiary chest/stomach hair. That's right ladies...that would be a set of hearts....and with that dear 'come hither' stare HOW COULD I SAY NO?!Well, i couldn't say no...which is why i took a look at his profile...this guy might be the future love of my life....
Let's see...it says he's from "New Hyde Park"
he prefers not to say what his body type is
He's 27...damn, he didn't age well....
Occupation: GRAVE ROBBER/BEE KEEPER
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHA!
If this isn't love, dear reader, than i dont know what is!
about me: I'm big in to digging holes in the middle of the woods. I like going to the beach and rolling around in the sand right after I have gone swimming. I'm not big on brushing my teeth, I think it's been at least 5 weeks since i've done that. I love puppet shows. My friends call me meat tooth for short, or the dood. My favorite animal is a polar bear. I go for long drives at a last minutes notice all the time. I have an acute memory from names and addresses.
First Date: I would probably pick you up and we could split a birthday cake from a nearby supermarket.
Alright alright...so I had been had by Mr Beefan005...that's cool...but the guy who made this site must be lurking online somewhere, right?
VICTORY!
**posted at the bottom of the page**
Well I hope this made you laugh, this is my kinda sense of humor look me up if you want, this is the real me "agnaralation"
OOOOOOOOO
A hunt!! how exciting...time to go snooping for this 'agnaralation'
First of all I would like to say that plentyoffish.com doesn't have the best search engine known to man. Well, at least my dumb ass found it a little hard to navigate...
OH! i have to hit the 'search USERNAME" button...silly me...okay...where is this guy....
My knight in shining armor is....A GINGER?!
...
I dont know how i feel about this...i m ean, i am not going to lie. I do enjoy the 'devil-may-care' grin but...the red hair...I dont know if i can deal with some fire crotch action...Let's see what he's about.
Hes in Glen Head...I have no idea where the hell that is...
he does tech work in a hospital...alright alright...this could be promising...
About Me: Hey there, if you don't like loud music, skating, and getting gnar with things then just stop here. I'm originally from NY and moved to Mass for a few years, more like 7. I work at some area hospitals on Long Island and i'm still continuing my education. I'm a big outdoors kinda dude. I like fishing, hiking and of course skating, it's a huge part of my life. I travel a lot, especially in the warmer weather. I've never been to europe or cali, but that's def in the works. I like pizza with a passion as well as sushi. I have a ton of tattoos and def working on more. I'm a gentelman I suppose, open your car door kinda guy, but I def have a sailor mouth haha.
....
Well, what do you mean by "if you dont like loud music"? does that mean that you are going to be playing your crappy music at top volume all the time? I mean, because i like music of all kinds...but i LOVE silence.
Skating?
Like...in-line skating?
No kid, i grew out of that phase years ago. I know you are only 27 but...even when i was 27 I was totally over that shit.
Translation: You're an asshole and you dont quite understand taht doing stupid things will mean that you will have stupid injuries...which will end with your stupid ass in a sling and no money coming in. ANd then what?? You're going to be like 'oh, well, if you could have seen it, man...i got som AIR!!'
That's the kinda shit i used to do in highschool....and i realized that getting hurt...HURTS...and the other you get the slower you are to bounce back. Ugh, I am NOT going to date an overgrown teenager.
GETTING GNAR
WTF IS 'GETTING GNAR'
Is that like...GWAR?! because, that's pretty awesome...sadly i dont think that is the case. Methinks it's time to resort the the ONLY source of online lingo: URBAN DICTIONARY!!!
GNAR:
A shortened version of the word gnarly, meaning high on the scale of dangerousness and coolness. Often used among the skateboard crowd
We got us a real mature one here!!!
maybe his actual 'working' in hospitals is in reference to how often he is seen being rolled into said hospitals. Ugh, AND he has tattoos (sorry, i know its a total pot calling the kettle black but) i don't like guys with tattoos. That's right. I said it.
Let's see....what could this kid's first date ideas be...
First Date: Go somewhere where we could talk, maybe get some coffee or pizza!!!
MY RESPONSE:
oH WOWWWWWW!!!! That sounds reallllyyyy chill, man. Maybe like...when your mom drops you off at the mall we can go into Hot Topic or Pac Sun and get some totally stellar hoodies and stickers for our boards. THEN we can eat pizza and french fries and like...see who else we know in the food court and talk about our latest GNAR adventures.
LOSER!!!
Ugh, grow up kid....(did *I* really just say that?!)
I'm not going to lie but...if i had to choose a Valentine I think i would go with contestant A--the Bee keeper/grave robber....at least then i could have all the honey and corpses a girl could ever wish for.
mmm.....necrophelia...beuse dead boys (and girls) don't say no ;)
